USTA warns players against using Twitter – Seriously?

antitwitterThe USTA has spoken.

“Thou Shall Not Tweet!”  (Or at least tweet responsibly)

What’s the true motivation behind this mandate?  We can only speculate, but speculate we will.

1.  Shot-Spot is jealous.  Not wanting to share the technology spotlight, Shot-Spot has threatened to go on strike if too many fans and players are making use of Twitter and not revering the technology that sent Mac-Cam into retirement.

2.  USTA afraid that US players may reveal secret information that gives opponents an advantage.  For instance, they do not want Roddick revealing he intends to play attacking, offensive tennis and rely on holding serve.  This type of game plan should be treated as a TRADE SECRET.

3.  They do not want Dementieva and the army of Russian women tweeting with cyrillic symbols.  It will be impossible to monitor what they are saying without hiring a translator.  They’d rather spend the money on some Pastrami on Rye and Golden Gooses.

4.  The NFL forbids it.  Since there are so many similarities between football players and tennis players, it only makes sense.  (Note:  NFL forbids it because they fear the average player will have at least 5 misspellings in a 152 character message.)

5.  When Dolce gets loose on Maria’s account, hard telling what kind of insider information will be spilled.  Plus Dolce has a bad cursing problem.

6.  They fear Djokavic tweeting: “Hee…hee…hee, I wasn’t really hurt.  Just needed a breather and the massage felt excellent.”

7.  They don’t want Roger receiving on-court tweets from Mirka asking him to pick up some Pampers on the way home.  Might be distracting.

8.  Serena’s tweets after a loss…HOLY CAMOLY! Makes Dolce’s tweets look like a fluffy puppy composed them.

9.  Azarenka tweets the same mantra over and over.  “Must…Grunt…Louder…Must…Grunt…Louder!”  Hard to believe she has 1000’s of followers, mostly teenage girls.

10.  Anyone reading tweets from Richard Williams may become immediately confused and disoriented.

What do you think?  Feel free to add your thought in the comments section below.

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One Response to USTA warns players against using Twitter – Seriously?

  1. PKS says:

    UPDATE:

    The real reason the USTA wants to reduce Tweets.

    In an official document appertained by a disgruntled National committee member, the TRUTH is OUT!

    The USTA is against twitter because: Twitter is allowing people to upload pictures and videos of USTA league matches before results can be official. This can only mean players are text-messaging during matches, which is a clear violation of the rules. On change-overs your forbid to use phones or anything that can get an unfair coaching advantage.

    Also the USTA is afraid the word will get out they will be forcing players to take the H1N1 vaccine before the upcoming season.

    We may have a revolution on our hands. Stay up to date on the ever changing course of this breaking story.

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