The Sultry Allure of our German tennis strings. (Warning PG-13 Blog Entry Ahead)

ssimagePlaying with new strings, properly strung, should be a delightful experience for all levels of tennis players.  However, playing with our exclusive offerings from MSV and WeissCANNON takes this to an entirely different level.  In fact, our string offerings are so pleasurable there is only one adjective that could possibly come close to accurately describing them.  That’s right fellow tennis players, we’re going to say it…here it comes…we know you want it…enough teasing…enough heavy breathing…enough foreplay…STRING-GASMIC!

Yes, you heard it right and you heard it here.  We believe the pleasure you will receive from our playing our exclusive lines of MSV and WeissCANNON strings is the most  string-gasmic™ experience in all of tennis.

Our MSV Focus – Hex® and new MSV EVO Hex are textured for increased stimulation.  Friction enhanced for those who like it rough! Available in thick (1.27mm) and extra thin (1.10mm) versions.

Our new WeissCANNON Turbotwist features spirals and twisting action that is so delightful it will leave you breathless, numb and begging for more.

Few strings are as satisfying as the WeissCANNON Silverstring which is the ultimate aphrodisiac of poly-based strings.  This one is as sure of a thing as it gets!  String-gasm™ guaranteed.

MSV‘s new Soft Touch and Soft Control are of a gentle nature, but don’t let that fool you, they are more than capable of generating much more than a tingle or two.  The feel offered by these strings is intense and raw.

MSV’s Focus EVO is a great choice when you are feeling naughty.  It’s exceptionally EVO.

Finally the aptly named WeissCANNON Explosiv! (a premium multifiber string) should come with a warning.  It is intense beyond imagination.  In fact this string is well-know by its users as providing the world’s best multi String-gasmic™ experience…bar none. Be careful with this one, there is clearly potential to terrify the kids and wake the entire neighborhood.

Because of the intensity of pleasure and the vast amount of arousal our string users experience, we can only sell online to those of legal age, 18 and over.  Children, teens and tweens wishing to use these products must have parental approval and definitely need to have had that “birds and bees” talk BEFORE using.

WARNING: The use of MSV and WeissCANNON strings in public is not recommended for those who are overly shy or modest.  You will be smiling ear-to-ear, and quite possibly breathing heavily, moaning and shrieking with delight throughout the match.  In all honesty, the added noise and gyrations do have a tendency to draw a bit of extra attention.  Do you think Sharapova, Azarenka, Seles, Hingis, the Williams sisters and Kournikova were actually grunting?  Heck no, “grunting” is just a euphemism used to describe  mild string-gasms™.  Take note, they are nowhere near the same intensity that users of our strings can experience.

Never had a string-gasm™ before?  Nothing to be embarrassed about, really.  You probably just have not used our strings.  There’s an easy way to rectify that and it will change the way you think about your tennis strings forever!

We sincerely want our string buying customers to experience string-gasms™.  Be loud.  Be proud.  Have a really exceptional one during your next match.   Experience for yourself  just how much fun tennis can be with MSV and WeissCANNON string products providing you with that little extra something-something that other strings simply do not provide.

If you are looking to take it to the next level, how about trying a hybrid setup?  (You have to see where this is leading, don’t you?)  By combining 2 different strings into a single stringbed, users are apt to experience multiple string-gasms™.  Give it a try…you know you want to!

Our string products are available online 24/7.  If you haven’t tried them yet, what are you waiting for?  String virginity is not held in high esteem by any known culture, past or present.  String-gasms™ do not violate any of the Ten Commandments.  This being the case, we suggest you simply go for it with a clear and guilt-free conscience. MSV and WeissCANNON strings are brought to you exclusively  from your friends at  Guts and Glory Tennis.

This post was created for you by the twisted minds at Guts and Glory Tennis where you will always find the world’s best String-gasms!™

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This entry was posted in Humor/Satire, Strings and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Sultry Allure of our German tennis strings. (Warning PG-13 Blog Entry Ahead)

  1. Paris says:

    That’s Hot!

  2. Jonathan says:

    You have sunk to a new low–and I love it! 🙂

    Hmmm…maybe those people we were discussing who smell their strings weren’t crazy after all?

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